WIFE VS. HUSBAND | Jokes | Funny Stories | Huband & Wife Jokes | The Silent Treatment

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep ," the wife replied, "In-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, " What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."

Worst day of life | Bar Jokes | The Drunkard Jokes

Worst day of life

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half-hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,
I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they couldn't do anything.
I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

FUNDAY @ COMODO | The Best Entertainment in Office | The Joyful Moments in Comodo | The Unforgetable Day

Hey Guys!.. Immmm Back. This time would let you guys know abt the celebrations that happened on May 5th'07 which would never be forgotten in the history of COMODO(the office where I work..). The day was termed as the "FUNDAY" which is happeneing for the 2nd time in our office(prev happ on 7th OCt'06).


Things which were prepeared and arranged for the event:

* Red T-Shirts with a smiley printed on it.
* Welcome drink.
* The Awards for the performers of the team.
* Cake to celebrate the success and the growth of the team.
* Biriyani for lunch.
* Gifts for the games that are to be conducted.
* The Music set to keep our spirits alive.(U c we cant stay wihout music..)
* Decoration items and posters to let the company know abt the event.

Whoooshhh.. I guess thats all......

To let you guys know before I start explaining as to what had all happ on that day.. I would like you all know the hero of the day.. The Organiser of the event .. Yeah thats'me.. he he he. Ok here it goes... me as usual arrived soon to office as there were some decorations and baloon blowing which had to be finished up to complete the entire decorations for the event. So as i started up I could see few of my colleagues just walkin in and gettin ready to party up. So with a few hazzles and jokes and also with the help of certain fellow mates could finally finish up the entire decorations and arrangements to get the day started. So @ around 9.30 am I could see The Galatta Gumbal... My team(the crowd) dancin in along with the music which was been played and takin up thier seats. So after a lot of shoutings, screaming and bangings I was finally able to make the team settle down for me to start up the event @ 10.30 am.













I started by givin up a small speech as to why we actually celebrate a day called FUNDAY which was followed with Cake cuttin and the awards ceremony for the performers of the team.. Then as I needed some time to start up my next event which was the Quiz, we had asked the new joinees in our team to express thier views as to how they feel within the team. After that the game started up by me splitting up the teams. Man I had a tough time setting up the questions for the quiz keepin in mind as to whether my guys would atleast answer a few which I had prepared. To my surprise I could see the guys fully geared up and shooting answers. Happened to be a great show and after abt 1 1/2 hrs.. the the quiz ended by declaring the winners . Photos enclosed (Yuva, harish, ramesh & Syed.. the winners).
So after the quiz I had planned to conduct the Dumb charades for which i had to spilt the teams again. I was served with a refreshing rose milk which gained me little more energy to conduct the next event for the day. Serious dudes.. this game was making people go MAD and crazy. A lot of acting skills which I had never seen in few of my coleagues were shown in great style to make thier team win. I had prepared only 2 topics for the game which involved Tamil & English movies. 5 solid rounds of each which ended up in a tie for the 2nd and 3rd place. Had a few more rounds to finalise the positions.



After a little of waiting we had settled ourselves for the yummy lunch (Biriyani) organised by yuva. Great lunch mon... all set and gearedup to conduct the next event for the day which was TAMBOLA (Famously called Lotto Housie). Sold the housie ticket at a rate of Rs.10 each. the full house cash amt was RS.250..First, middle & the last row cash amt was Rs.50 each. The game had a great start.. I could see the fellas catching thier heads ,bitting their nails to finish up any one row to bag the cash amt. After abt 1/2 hr of number screamings from the lot and gettin the winners for the first, middle & last row ... I heard a sudden bang on the table along with a scream who was none other than Vasanth (Colleague) who sprang up showing his ticket that he had the full house. Congragulated him and asked him to enzaiii with the cash amt.

As we had some more time to wind up the day, I decided to go on with an other game which was actually termed as Passing the item but which had turned out to be the best event for the day where people had the chances to rag few other fellas which they wanted to do for a very long time. The music was controlled by me via the laptop wherein the person who gets the item when the music stops has to perfom all kind of cranky things which thier colleagues tell them. The floor was full of laughter when each one performed diff acts. To give you guys a outline as what were the topics..naaa...cant say it.. this is a family blog guys. he he he.....

After a lot of laughter & enzaiment we finally winded up the day by giving few good poses for the cameras and dancin to few of our favourite tunes. I personally feel that this Funday had turned out to be a mega successful event and I take the pride in thanking all the fella mates who had helped me to organise the event and make it a grand sucess.



FUNDAY - ENJOYMENT MATTERS

Family Problems !!!!!! | Love Marriages | Confused Family | Problematic Family

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.

We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, " Talking about love marriages?... I'll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son I.e. My brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems.. !!!

Innocent Questions | About Nudity | Opinions | Ketchup | More Nudity | Police | Elderly | Dress Up | School | Bible

The Questions goes like this...

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

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2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

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3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

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4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,

She asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right? "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

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6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,

My K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said," What'd he do?"

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7) ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

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8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

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9) DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting , then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

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10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother .. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

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11) BIBLE


A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. ; ; "What have you got there, dear?

"With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear. "

Shocking Telegrams | Funny Telegrams | Postal Department Jokes | Short Sentences with Funny Meanings

TELEGRAM #1

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:


"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
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TELEGRAM #2

A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."

The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."
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TELEGRAM #3

A wife with near maturing pregnan! Cy goes to railway station to return to her husband.

At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.

Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:

"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
************

TELEGRAM #4

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.

The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Well he thinks for a while and says:

Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".

The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"

The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.

The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".
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TELEGRAM #5

A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi .

When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.

He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.

It was written:

'Sethji aaj mar ! Gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye )

Pulikesi !!!!!!!!!

Ha ha ha!!! Serious guys call it whatever you feel like. Pic taken on 29th Dec'06 New year party @ office. The concept was to get the looks of a tiger painted on my face. My great colleague also started painting up with that idea on my face but turned out to be something completely different from what we had actually thought..No clue what can i call this painting as. But looked little cool... So decided to be named as 24nallam pulikesi (in Tamil: irruvathi naallaam pulikesi).