Saturday, February 23, 2008

Mallu Malayalee English Jokes


1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called? IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study? In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today? He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff? To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire? He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon? MOON - Yem Who yet another Who and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called? Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ? He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday? An Oto

11) Where does he pray? In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ? A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard? Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala? Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait? He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line? " Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ? Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

6 comments:

Several tips said...

A very interesting post.

Toms said...

I liked your article though Im a malayalee. But I would like to tell you that you did not bring out the correct words that Malayalees pronounce badly. In my further comments I shall enlist the words. Also most malayalees (and other Indians) don't pronounce Auto as "Otto" but as "Aaaatto"

Toms said...

English words murdered by Keralites (Malayalees) and some other Indians:

kangaroo (the worst offended word Malayalees/Indians pronounce as “kanGAROO” instead of “KANgaroo”)

mixed, fixed (pronounced as 'miksed', 'fiksed' instead of 'miksd', 'fiksd')

bear, pear (pronounced as ‘biyar’, ‘piyar’ instead of ‘beye’ and ‘peye’)

beer (pronounced as "biiir" instead of "biye")

auto (pronounced as "aaato" instead of "otto")

Queen (prounounced as “kyuun” instead of “kween”)

form (pronounced as ‘farum’ instead of “fom”)

biennale (pronounced as “binale” instead of “bienale”)

place names – Ohio, Seattle, Utah (pronounced as “ohiyo, seetl, ootha” instead of “ohayo, siyatl, yuta”)

Tortoise (pronounced as ‘tortois’ instead of “totis” )

turtle (pronounced as ‘turrrtil’ instead of “tutl” )

Mascot Hotel (pronounced as “muskat HOtel” instead of “MAScot hoTEL”)

heart (pronounced as ‘hurrt’ instead of “haat”)

bass (pronounced as ‘baas’ instead of “base”)

twitter (pronounced as “tyooter” instead of “twiter”)

birthday (pronounced as “birthaday” instead of “buthdei”)

garage (pronounced as “garej” instead of “gaRAZH”)

chassis (pronounced as “chasis” instead of “shasi”)

divorce (pronounced as "daiverse" instead of "divors")

February (pronounced as “fibruari” instead of “februari”)

one (pronounced as "onn" instead of "wun")

Toms said...

pizza (pronounced as "pisa" instead of "pitza")

our (pronounced as "avar" instead of "aue")

flour (pronounced as "flower" instead of "flaue")

alarm (prounced as "alarum" instead of "alaam")

volume (books) (pronounced as "vaalyoom' instead of "volyum")

Toms said...

Though I have stated the defects of Malayalees English pronunciation, 'Tanglish' is even more funnier than Manglish.

Toms said...

Karl Marx (Malayalees pronounce as 'karrrel maarrks" instead of 'kaal maaks')